


Getting Ready

by surreal_wanderer



Category: Firefly
Genre: Dysphoria, FTM Simon, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Siblings, Simon has anxiety, Simon has sensory processing problems, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, nuerodiversity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 14:16:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10466964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surreal_wanderer/pseuds/surreal_wanderer
Summary: Simon is having dysphoria and anxiety trying to get ready in the morning and River knows how to be there for him. Content warning: describes dysphoria as well as sensory overload





	

**Author's Note:**

> In this story Simon is trans, and has anxiety. I also imagine him having sensory problems ether as its own disorder or a symptom of something else like ADHD or autism. I write from my own experience as a trans person, I also have anxiety and ADHD. Hope it resonates with some of you!

Simon sighed irritably again, as he tossed more of his stuff aside in his search. He’d changed his shirt three times already. There was something wrong with each one, he felt hyper aware of every sensation each one imposed on him. One fit snug enough in the shoulders that moving his arms in some ways caused it to pull tight against his chest, one seemed like he might get too hot, another was an old enough favourite that the fabric was worn out in such away it would cling to his body in all the wrong ways as he moved around throughout the day. His sports bra rode up and didn’t do the job, the binder he currently had on was new, not yet broken in. The more frantic he grew in search of a shirt the more it felt like the binder was tightening around him, making him fear it would stop him from getting the oxygen he needed for whatever adventures and/or misfortune the days trip into town would bring. He now searched for his older binder which he had tossed aside in in frustration when he’d gotten his new one, as it chaffed his armpits and made part of his back hurt. It was almost time to leave and he still wasn’t ready!  
“Simon?” river inquired in the sweet voice she always used when she spoke to him. He sank to the ground and wrapped his arms around his knees. He took as deep a breath as he could, closing his eyes to block out the flickering light in his bunk. Every sound the ship made seemed to loud, each creak, moan, an grumble piling on to his stress. He felt like he couldn’t speak.   
“Simon I’m coming in.” her voice cut through all the noise. so naturally graceful in the body she was given, she glided over and sunk down next to him. She felt fear and pain radiating off him in waves. 

It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him like this, it reminded her of when they were young, there would be days he would become withdrawn. it would take him forever to get ready for school only to come downstairs to tell mom or dad he had a stomach ache and wanted to stay home. Some of these days they fought, he would snap at her over something seemingly small when normally they were the best of friends. But even so River was the only one he would let hang around him. This was before the day Simon had went to his parents and told them he wanted to change his name and that he was a boy, of course River already knew she was the first one he told, not that she was surprised it just seemed to make sense. After that the older Simon got the less classes he missed, and the better he got along with his sister.

“Did something happen?” River asked gently. He shook his head still resting it on his knees.  
“Don’t worry mei mei I’ll be fine.” She responded with an exasperated look.   
“Simon you really don’t need to add worrying about me worrying about you to your list of anxieties. What’s wrong?”  
“It’s not really a big thing I just can’t find my other binder, but I can just wear this one.”  
“And you think I have trouble explaining what’s in my head.” She shoots him a knowing look. “let me help you.” He gets up to start looking again, his shoulders curled in and his back rigid. It takes river all of two seconds to find the garment. Relief washes over Simon, but then he moves to check his watch. River gently stops his arm. “You already ate breakfast and there’s still 15 minutes” she chimed. She helped her brother extract himself from the tight piece of clothing then turned around as he pulled the old familiar fabric over his head. She knew him well enough to know what he needed now, and wrapped him in a hug. Simons breathing became even again, as the pressure of the hug calmed him. He hugged her in return his body feeling like his own again, and all the sounds of the ship and sensations of his clothes once again faded into the background. Simon kept his little sister safe by protecting her, and River made her big brother safe by seeing him for exactly who he was.


End file.
